Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
No subtext here. People are naked.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
