soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
