there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
