She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize