WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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