i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
