I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
