did you get engaged???
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
