Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
