I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
