Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
