Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
