theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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