i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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