apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
