I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
