Jerry, you need to find god
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize