went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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