It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
