the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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