YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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