I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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