so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
