My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
