i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
40s are totally the cure
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
