whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
