If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
