I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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