I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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