I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
