I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
