Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
