I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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