That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
