Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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