The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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