DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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