So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
