i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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