3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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