and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
