what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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