I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
