I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
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