I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
