how can u be prego again
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize