Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You were trust falling into bushes
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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