just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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