bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
