mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
