& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
