Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Girls should come with a carfax report
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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