Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
