ya dads aren't the best wingmen
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
