The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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