Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
