it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
