i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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