I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
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